There’s a particular kind of silence that echoes through modern workplaces—the kind where people smile, nod, contribute… and quietly conceal who they really are. It’s not just about being private. It’s about being strategic. It’s about survival.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that professionalism means putting on a costume. That sharing too much—especially when it’s personal, vulnerable, or doesn’t fit the norm—is dangerous. This covering up wasn’t just unspoken. It was policy. The unblinking eye of corporate culture once rewarded sameness, safety, and silence.
However, just because something was once accepted doesn’t mean it should still be expected.
A recent study by Deloitte found that 61% of employees cover up parts of their identity at work. For LGBTQ+ employees, that number is even more jarring. According to the Human Rights Campaign, 46% of LGBTQ+ workers remain closeted in their workplace. Not in 1982. In 2024.
Read that again.
These aren’t abstract statistics. They are your colleagues. They are your managers. They might even be you. And the cost of that concealment is enormous. It leads to stress, isolation, reduced productivity, and a dull ache that maybe—just maybe—you don’t really belong.
I lived this truth for 25 years. I worked at a major technology company, surrounded by brilliant minds, innovation, and progress—and I hid the biggest part of myself. Every day, I left my identity at the door. I wore the costume. I smiled and performed. And I withered.
Until I didn’t.
Now, I go out and tell everyone who I am. Fully. Honestly. And in person.
And I can’t help but wonder: Shouldn’t we all feel the freedom to do that?
And let’s be clear—even as the EEOC considers rolling back protections or narrowing categories, that is not a signal to incentivize people to shrink themselves. Stripping away language doesn’t erase people. Compliance is the floor. Humanity is the ceiling. You let people be who they are not because a rule says you must, but because it’s the right thing to do.
Shouldn’t we get to live one life—unsegmented, unfragmented, unapologetic?
The call to action is seismic but straightforward: Speak up at work. Let us know who you are. Don’t bury the best parts of yourself in a drawer labeled “Too Much.” You don’t need to be two people. And you certainly don’t need to wait for permission.
As for leaders, the question becomes: what are you doing to make it safe?
Here are a few places to start:
- Model vulnerability: Talk about who you are, not just what you do.
- Audit your inclusion efforts: Don’t just write policies. Live them. Enforce them. Evolve them.
- Educate your teams—especially on unconscious bias, intersectionality, and the realities of marginalized identities.
- Create employee resource groups (ERGs) that have real budgets, real influence, and real leadership visibility.
- Listen deeply: If someone tells you they don’t feel safe or seen, believe them. Then, do something about it.
We’ve all seen what happens when people shrink themselves to fit the culture. Imagine what would happen if we built a culture that fit the people.
It’s time.
Not just for change. But for honesty. For visibility. For wholeness.
And maybe even for joy—where you work, where you lead, and where you spend most of your day.
