There were days I couldn’t tell if I was burned out… or just disappearing.
I wasn’t thriving. I wasn’t crushing it. I was holding it together and showing up to meetings, replying to emails, doing what I had to do. But inside, I felt disconnected—like I was running on fumes in a role that didn’t recognize or need the part of me that actually lit up.
People assumed I was fine. But the truth?
I wasn’t exhausted from working hard—I was exhausted from working in a way that ignored my gift.
Not All Burnout Is About Hours
We’re taught to see burnout as a result of stress, overwork, and not enough sleep. And sometimes it is. But there’s another version, too—one that’s quieter and harder to name.
The kind that shows up when you’ve spent years hiding the parts of you that feel most alive.
When you’ve been suppressing your natural strengths to fit a mold that never really fit.
When you go home tired, not from effort, but from absence.
A Deloitte study found that 61% of employees feel they’ve had to hide parts of themselves at work, and that number jumps even higher for those in marginalized communities. When we hide, we disconnect. From others. From ourselves. From our potential. And eventually, from our energy.
What It Looked Like for Me
I didn’t shine in my last corporate role. I survived it.
I stayed in a system that rewarded performance over purpose, compliance over creativity. I did what I had to do to remain employed, but I stopped doing what made me feel real. My natural gift—storytelling, connection, making people feel seen—had no place in my day-to-day. And eventually, it just went quiet.
I want to say this clearly: this isn’t just about gender identity.
Yes, my own journey involved navigating and eventually embracing my gender identity. But people wrestle with all kinds of truths they’ve been taught to hide, including grief, creativity, queerness, ambition, caregiving, faith, neurodivergence, softness, sensitivity, and a different way of thinking or leading.
The specifics may differ, but the feeling is the same:
That your authentic self doesn’t quite belong in the environment you’re in.
If people saw all of you, it might cost you.
And when that fear sets in, your gift is often the first thing to go quiet.
Maybe It’s Not Burnout. Perhaps It’s a Gift Going Unused.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
When you’re using your gift, even hard work can feel energizing.
When you’re hiding it, even rest doesn’t help.
Your gift is the work you’d do even if no one noticed.
It’s what you come back to again and again.
It’s the place where you forget the clock because you’re in flow.
Many people feel drained not because they’re overcommitting, but because they’ve spent years neglecting the things that truly light them up.
What If the Solution Isn’t Rest—But Realignment?
Rest is essential. But rest alone won’t fix the ache that comes from being out of alignment.
Sometimes what we need most is not a vacation—it’s a return.
Not reinvention, but reconnection. Not more hustle, but permission.
That doesn’t always mean leaving your job. Sometimes it means:
- Saying yes to a project that sparks your curiosity.
- Raising your hand to lead in a way that reflects your values.
- Mentoring someone and realizing how much you love teaching.
- Sharing a piece of your story and watching others lean in.
Small moves. Brave ones. Ones that whisper: this is who I am.
Why This Isn’t Just Personal—It’s Cultural
There’s a business case here, too.
📊 Gallup found that when people use their strengths at work every day, they’re:
- 6x more likely to be engaged
- 3x more likely to report excellent quality of life
- And 15% less likely to experience burnout
When we make space for people to work from their gifts, we don’t just get better outcomes. We get lit-up humans. And that changes everything.
The Truth I Needed to Hear
If you’re feeling drained, stuck, or numb, it doesn’t always mean you’re broken.
It might just mean you’re in a place that doesn’t recognize your light.
Or a role that values what you do more than who you are.
So before you write it off as burnout, ask yourself:
Is your gift being used—or is it still waiting?
Because when your gift is finally seen and used,
You don’t just get your energy back—you get yourself back.
